for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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