I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
