ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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