and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
