just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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