I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
