Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
