I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
