Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
