dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
