I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
