Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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