dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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