I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
