i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
even my farts smell like vagina
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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