Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
