I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
