I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
