Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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