Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
