10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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