my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
