I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
