Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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