whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You may now shotgun with the bride
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
