i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
