i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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