He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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