I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
