I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
