your thong is hanging out like whoa
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
