I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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