You don't have asthma, your pregnant
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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