Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
