I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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