everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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