Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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