i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
