for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
