# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
