just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
