six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
