I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
