Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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