I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
