At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
