So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
