Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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