There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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