It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
