But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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